Monday, April 6, 2009

Where is God When You Need Him?


"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani ... My God, My God, why have your forsaken me?" (Matt. 7:46; Mark 15:34).

Can God abandon himself?

He did. Papa left his Son. Jesus died alone.

Few of us would choose to die alone. While death rips life from our bodies, it would be comforting to know we were surrounded by people who mean the most to us, people who love us, people willing to walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death.

Who wants to die alone?

Have you noticed that we die a thousand deaths before we're buried--"mini-deaths" Eugene Peterson calls them. We're shunned, rejected, ignored, betrayed, abandoned, abused, and taken off the list as if we were invisible. Each "mini-death" leading to the final death.

During my "mini-death" experience I want God to show up and rescue me from the harsh isolation of betrayal. But He doesn't. At least, He doesn't seem to be there. Heaven is silent. And I'm left to stumble around in the dark night of my soul. I feel desperate. Cut off. I die alone.

"Why?"

I don't know "why?" No matter how many times I ask or how long I wait, God never answers my "whys?"

Yet, no matter how alone I feel, I'm not alone. I will never leave you; I will never forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 That's His promise.

How do I handle my mini-deaths? I do what Jesus did. I trust; I pray; I wait for Papa's presence.

He's on His way. He's never broken a promise yet.

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