Who Am I?

"Who am I?" The question Bonhoeffer asked himself while confined in a German prison cell. "Who am I? They often tell me I step from my cell's confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly. like a Squire from his country house."

Am I what others see? Or am I only what I know myself to be? Soul-rocking questions. Questions begging to be asked and answered.

"Who am I?" Bold, confident, self-assured or timid, insecure, self-demeaning? Am I both at once? Do I wear a mask of confidence to conceal a timid soul? Have I played the pretence game so long that I can no longer distinguish the real me from the phony me?

"Who am I?" One or the other? Does it matter? Am I one person today and another person tomorrow? Am I one person in one situation and different person in a different situation? Does it matter?

It's confusing.

God has no difficulty with these questions: "I AM WHO I AM," He announced to Moses. "I am all that I appear to be. No inner contradictions. Holy wholeness. Nothing changes. Love without compromise. Truth without shading. Purity without blemish. I AM!"

And that was enough for Moses. It was enough for him to know the God who is present, personal, and ready to act. It was enough for Moses to know that God was not abstract, impersonal, and weak. It was enough for Moses to know God knows who He is the I AM in whom all of life finds its center.

The name spoken from the burning shrub means God is present and personal with me. He is here. Now. Present. Powerful. Compassionate. Forgiving. Merciful. Ready to help.

No more self made gods. No more gods to be bribed, flattered, or appeased. No more political, economic, intellectual, or religious gods that promise more than they give and over time drain every ounce of life from my soul.

"I AM WHO I AM" does not define God. God cannot be defined. It describes Him, but it doesn't tell everything. It says, "I am really here." And that's enough for now.

So, I drag my confused soul before I AM. There, in His loving reflection, I see who I am. And there I put to rest these swirling questions that haunt my soul.